A breath of fresh air in Petersfield

Prestatyn yesterday

The festival that takes place in Petersfield, during the summer has been renamed the Petersfield Summer Festival.

Lance Alott and Percy Vahl two members of Petersfield Round Table have taken over the running of the event and wanted to freshen up the branding, making it attractive to potential festival goers.

Alott said: “We thought about getting in some branding specialists, you know the sort of experts who you pay a few thousand pounds to and they come up with a catchy name. But on reflection we thought we could probably come up with something ourselves.

“So we sat down for a few hours, over several pints and ran through a number of options... Two of the best early ideas were Nantwich Autumn Exhibition and Prestatyn Spring Sales. Both of these names are kind of catchy in their own way, but each has their own problems.

“The event won’t be in Nantwich or Prestatyn, it will actually take place between spring and autumn and the main event is neither an exhibition nor a sale.

“Then after four and a half hours, and quite a few pints... I won’t say how many, it hit us. Why not call it the Petersfield Summer Festival.

“Petersfield Summer Festival will be pretty much the same as previous years, same music, same stalls, same entertainers, same old children’s farm; but we believe we have breathed new life into the event with this fantastic new name.”

BAD BREATH

Mr Credible doing some breathing exercises yesterday

An international breathing expert has conned a Petersfield doctor into inviting him to our town today (Friday).

The expert, Justin Credible, says he boasts long experience in his specialist area: "I've been breathing since the day I was born" he said. "As an international breathing expert I have breathed in New York , Sydney , Mombassa and Delhi.

"Recently I was invited to the famous Breathing Festival in Cannes which attracts people from five continents. It's like a pilgrimage of breath. We breathe all the way there and when we arrive they all breathe some more."

Mr Credible has promised to return to Petersfield every individual molecule of our air he breathes on Friday.

Local press excited

A local newspaper is claiming that “revelers will be rocking around the Christmas tree” between December 5 and 7, at this year's Petersfield Christmas Festival, thanks to what it describes as “an exciting line-up of bands and performers”.

As usual, a number of acts that nobody will have heard of have been booked for the event and organisers are hoping that at least one or two of them can string a few notes together to entertain the crowd.

Groups secured for the event include Little Willy and his Piccolo, The Flatulent Pheasants, Revenge of the Angry Housewives, REO Speed Camera and topping the bill, Irish boy band Gang Green.

The Town Council has given permission for a perimeter fence to be set up around the square at this year's event, to control crowds. This isn't so much in an effort to maintain order, as numbers.

The plan is to have an entrance but no exit, so crowds should swell into the dozens or even hundreds if misleading signage can be erected in time.