Toyota recall for drivers

Toyota has been forced to recall its 4x4 models from owners around Petersfield.

However, the world's largest auto producer has denied there are mechanical problems with the vehicles.

"This has nothing to do with any faults," stressed spokesman Wata Loadatoshi. "It’s just that the owners appear to be driving like TWATS!"

He said the recall would involve at least the All New Land Cruiser, the RAV4 and the Hilux models.

"The problem is worst in the morning around local primary schools where mums seem to think that if they’re driving a 4x4 they can just stop in the middle of the road to get their little darlings out as close as possible to the gates. God forbid that the little sods should actually have to walk a few yards!

"These same drivers also appear to believe they can plough roughshod over any pavements in the town – although bizarrely they don’t like to get too close to hedges in narrow lanes in case they get their shiny 4x4s a little bit dirty."

Mr Loadatoshi urged BMW, Land Rover, VW and Jeep to follow suit.

Town council bans Toyotas

Signs have been erected already

Petersfield Town Council (PTC) has imposed an outright ban on all Toyota vehicles driving through the town centre.

With no traffic warden, Petersfield's traffic is often at a standstill with cars and lorries parked on both sides of all roads.

Flo Murreezily, speaking on behalf, of PTC said: "The last thing this town needs is cars with faulty brakes. Anyone who has driven around town recently knows very well that you will use your brake more than your accelerator pedal and so we thought this ban would be a prudent measure."

Sly Dingstop, a senior executive at Toyota. is incensed by the ban. He said: "I should like to point out that Toyota see the issue with the brakes as something of a feature rather than a fault.

"All the greenies these days bang on about carbon emissions and Toyota thought they would do their bit.

"Everyone knows that the faster you drive, the more carbon emissions you produce. Based upon our calculations, since our recent announcements, all Toyota drivers have been driving far more economically and subsequently saving the planet."