Petersfield project wins national award

The rising pile of litter is clearly visible behind the skatepark fence

Petersfield’s skatepark has entered the record books within six months of opening – for the amount of litter it has generated.

Officials from the Government’s Department of Really Untidy Places have confirmed the amount of litter produced in the last six months has topped that of the previous record holder Trafalgar Square.

The announcement came after Tony Robinson’s Time Team crew was called in to Love Lane on Sunday to excavate Petersfield Town Football Club’s stadium from under an increasing pile of fast-food containers, drinks cartons, lycra shirts and Marvel comics, in time for one of the club’s biggest annual events.

A spokesman for Petersfield Town Council said: “We are delighted the skatepark has received official recognition and this is testament to the effort we put in to ensuring the project went ahead despite opposition from NIMBYs, for whom this latest accolade must be a real blow.

“This is only the second occasion the Time Team programme has visited Petersfield and it helps to put the town on the map. The subsequent spin-offs are good for the town too.

“The number of seagulls circling overhead enables visiting skateboarders to find the skate park easily, plus we are able to employ another 16 refuse collectors on a permanent basis for the Love Lane recreation field alone.

“What’s more, once Tony Robinson and his team had rediscovered the town’s football club underneath the detritus they also found Shergar and Lord Lucan. The town’s museum will benefit exponentially.”

A spokesman for the town’s football club, who had been reported missing for six days underneath the burgeoning morass, emerged to say: “We share the council’s delight at this award. It has really helped put us on the map.

"The young people visiting are always leaving fast-food containers or losing their expensive trainers, while the 30-somethings who use the site lose their dignity and a large amount of unkempt facial hair.

“The combination of all these things is second-to-none and the council should be congratulated for having the initiative to hide one of the resident waste-paper bins around the corner out-of-sight. It only encourages the visitors to dump more on the ground when the main bin is full. Absolute genius!”