Petersfield traders told: Carry on flouting the law

In the rare event of the police being in Petersfield it's essential they can

drive their mobility scooters safely on the pavement

insists Hampshire County Council

In a victory for common sense, a Hampshire County Council (HCC) spokesman has told Petersfield shopkeepers to ignore the law.

Traders were up in arms after receiving a letter from HCC telling them to remove their A board signs from the streets.

However, at a secret meeting held at an unnamed venue above Foppy’s Wine Bar, highways officer Wyn Chester reassured Petersfield traders to carry on flouting the law.

They were told if a 1.5metre gap was allowed between their signs and the road the council would not prosecute despite it being against the law.

He said: “We are not intransigent. We realise that there is very little reason to uphold the laws in Petersfield as there are no police to enforce them.

“Turning a blind eye to illegal activity is a necessary requirement these days, just look at parking in the town. Where would we be if we actually enforced double-yellow lines or ‘No Waiting’ restrictions?

“Also police have been quite happy to allow gangs of teenagers to roam the streets late at night smashing bottles, vandalising property and assaulting passers-by. These are all things we may have thought unacceptable 20 years ago but we have to move with the times.

"Where would we be if we still sent all our messages by pigeon post?” he said, before downing another glass of overpriced Chablis.

But a spokesman for Petersfield’s Independent Shop Staffs and Office Force (PISSOF), Matt Tress, insisted the compromise still infringed his human rights.

He said: “If I wanted to have my A board 1.5 metres from the road I would. The fact is I want them balanced precariously on the kerb so people fall over them causing traffic to stop right outside my shop.

“In these hard economic times people just don’t appreciate how hard we have to work at our marketing to survive.

“Mr Chester said ‘We were getting so many complaints – from a blind person or someone who fell over – I have got to be proactive. I can not just turn a blind eye to it.’ Well why not, the person who fell over it did … and they were quite happy after they got a six-figure sum courtesy of Ambulance Chasers Direct.

“It’s about time we all worked together for the good of the community and the prosperity of my bank balance.”

Council ruling stuns Petersfield resident

Protesters gather outside St Peter's Church

A Petersfield man fears he will be run out of town if Hampshire County Council (HCC) has its way.

Andy Board, of Tilmore Road, says he has received unprecedented and unwarranted abuse since HCC stated that A Boards were to be banned from Petersfield streets.

Mr Board said: “Since that ruling I’ve been unable to go out until after dark – and even then in disguise. For the first two days I didn’t dare venture out of the house.

“In the end I had to risk the wrath of the council because I was out of all the staples of everyday food.

“I simply don’t understand why they have decided to pick on me and my family.”

The ruling, reported widely in the local media in the absence of any election stories, has also been responsible for the cancellation of a visit to Petersfield by the former Australian cricket captain Alan Border.

A spokesman for the Australian cricket board said: “We’re stunned that a small market town in East Hampshire could refuse to allow one of the world’s greatest cricketers to walk their streets.

“What has he done to deserve that … apart from hitting English bowlers to all four corners of the circular globe?”

An HCC spokesman insisted that everybody had jumped to the wrong conclusion.

He said: “Everybody appears confused by recent events. What we wanted to remove from the streets is ‘A broad’ who stands by the statue in the square on Friday and Saturday nights touting for business.

"Her presence there is most unwelcome and has proved a health and safety distraction for many people of impaired eyesight.”

But despite that clarification, not all of the town’s residents were happy.

Cam Payne, the founder member of Petersfield Residents Against Things (PRATS), believes the council have still gone to far.

“This ban may well damage the local economy,” he insisted.

“One only has to look to Norfolk to see how vital the broads there are to the tourism industry. Driving them out of Petersfield could cause irreparable damage to the economy – but it will give me something to get my teeth into, so to speak…”

The new MP for East Hampshire, Julian Hindsight, said succinctly: “What the **** is happening to this once-proud country of ours?”