It is the long-awaited day and the townsfolk of Petersfield, along with millions across the nation are set to celebrate the royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton.
Petersfield show-off “The man in the shiny suit” caught the 9:18am train to Waterloo this morning so that he can be in London for the big day.
Newswire understands he will be making a bee-line for Pall Mall near Horse Guards Parade to possibly catch a glimpse of the bride's carriage as it trundles past.
To mark the momentous occasion he will unsurprisingly dress in one of his standard shiny suits, wearing his normal diamante bow tie, shiny top hat and gloves.
The man in the shiny suit told Newswire: “I know I’m leaving it a bit late but to be quite honest I just can’t be arsed with it all.
“Yes, yes, I know” he said, when it was pointed out that throngs of people had put in huge amounts of effort, travelling from around the world and camping out on the streets that line the route of the royal carriage for days.
“I know I have no chance of getting anywhere near the front but, so what.”
He told Newswire resignedly: “To be honest I was rather hoping for an invitation.
“I’ve met a few members of the royal family at various functions over the years and Prince Andrew even bought me a drink once!
“Every time I attend a royal event I wear one of these ruddy boiling bacofoil suits, waving union flags and sporting a fixed grin; this was their chance to show some sign of appreciation.
“Hugely disappointed, that’s how I feel.
“I’ll still go, I don’t want to ruin any chance I might have of getting an MBE, but an invitation would have been nice.”
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