Party Poppers for Party Poopers

Petersfield has been the scene of huge confusion that has seemingly deterred many from throwing street parties to celebrate the imminent royal wedding.
 
The residents of the South Downs National Park town are renowned up and down the land for popping open a bottle of Veuve Clicquot or six at the drop of a top hat, but East Hants District Council (EHDC) has confirmed that no-one wants to party to celebrate William and Kate's nuptials.

 Not much of a bang for Wills and Kate

A headline in the Petersfield Proust indicated that following an edict by EHDC, party poppers would cost £21, and this appears to have deterred many from wanting to join in on the day.

Annie Hicks-Kews, a self-declared royalist who always likes to let her hair down explained why there was such a level of disinterest.

“It's all down to the party poppers thing dahling,” she said. “It’s a bit like Christmas crackers; you wouldn’t be seen dead pulling a Christmas cracker which had come from a box costing less than say £60.

“Fortnum’s do reasonable Crimbo crackers and you can always fall back on Harrods if you are completely stuck, but the branding is the key.
 
“With the party poppers, I can't bear to think what sort of cheap tack these are going to be if they only cost £21? Will they be from that cheap Norwegian shop? Widdle, or whatever it's called.

“And of course it has a knock-on effect: if the price is too low, the standard of hors d’oeuvres and crudités will inevitably drop. Then before you know where you are, you’re drinking second-rate champers and every oik in the street would be wanting to join in.

“It simply won’t do.”