Petersfield’s gypsy plans unveiled

 A traditional gypsy caravan

Dale Farm’s gypsy population has been invited to set up home in Petersfield by Trevor Laws, chairman of Petersfield Town Council’s planning committee.

Laws has set the caravan wheels in motion to meet the housing requirements forced upon the peaceful market town by government.

Petersfield has been told it needs to grow by 422 homes before the end of 2028 and Laws thinks this gives the town a chance to exploit a loophole.

“There are 420 families living on Dale Farm, if they all move down here, there will only be a need to build a further two homes between now and 2028,” he said.

“Nobody wants development apart from the developers themselves, and this would be a great way to avoid it.

“Even the South Downs National Park representatives are caving in to pressure, so my plan will put an end to all this talk of building plots.”

Laws has been in secret talks with Dale Farm representatives Eve Hilleye and Iona Quadbyke, and they have agreed a certain standard of accommodation could be mandatory.

“I have insisted that each home has to be a traditional “pretty” gypsy caravan; the site will look beautiful and if anything, attract visitors to our part of the National Park.

“The caravans could be sited next to our existing caravan population, at the rough end of town, down on The Causeway, so that shouldn’t upset anyone.

Iona Quadbyke tries out the tree with a ladder on the Causeway site

“A loan scheme has been put in place with the Swiss Bank UBS, who are desperate for some good press, and the gypsies will be able to pay for their new caravans over the next 15 years.

“The bonus will be the ‘mates rates’ system that I will insist upon for tarmac resurfacing work. When our roads fall apart this winter, following another ‘unexpected’ cold snap, our new neighbours will be out to fix the cracks before you can say no to a sprig of lucky heather.”