Tunnel vision for contractors

Heading north, on yer bike son 

 
The grand opening of the Hindhead tunnel, long awaited to ease congestion on the A3 between Petersfield and Guildford, is to be delayed.

Work has progressed ahead of schedule and until recently it was thought the tunnel might actually open as early as July 6, 2011, a full month ahead of the original target date.

The main fabric of the tunnel was actually finished months ago and it has been a series of health and safety checks and tweaks that have delayed its use.

The Health and Safety executive and the Highways Agency have insisted that a number of “enhancements” be made before the public are permitted to use the tunnel.

The enforced changes have meant that cables had to be fitted for lights, warning lights, emergency warning lights, signals, signal lights, emergency power systems, heating system, de-icing systems, communications systems, reserve communications systems, operating cameras, security cameras and a coffee machine at the half-way point.

Piping has also had to be fitted for air ducts, smoke ducts, reserve air ducts, sprinkler systems, back-up sprinkler systems and badgers (a compromise deal with Badgerwatch UK ).

The list ran to 754 additional requirements and the additional gadgetry has been housed in thick stainless steel tubes to protect it should there be a crash, fire, flood, earthquake or other disaster.

Dave Reckonin, in charge of the project, said: “We have satisfied all of the additional safety requirements, the additional equipment has been tested and is functioning correctly. Unfortunately the additional piping has reduced the width and headroom in both the northbound and southbound tunnels. The net result is that when the tunnel opens, sometime later this month, only cyclists and motorcyclists will be able to use it.

“Cars and lorries will be diverted through Bordon.”

No light at end of tunnel furore

Outraged people with nothing to fill their day have been upset by being unable to purchase something they can get for free in a few weeks.

Residents living near the soon-to-be-opened Hindhead tunnel are disgusted – nay outraged! – that they are unable to buy tickets to walk through the tunnel this Saturday.

The £271m project, which opens this summer, opens for one day only on May 14, to allow members of the public to walk through. But health and safety concerns mean only one person will be allowed through every half-hour and this has sparked outrage among local residents who have been unable to claim a place among the lucky few.

Threats have even been made to tunnel staff, with one man being told: “I’m going to yell something rude at you on Saturday.”

The Hindhead Engineering Long-hole Project Users Society (HELP US) is an association consisting of eight agencies who are involved in, or who have an interest in the A3 tunnel project and they have been receiving huge numbers of complaints from people with nothing better to do.

Sue Icidal, chairman of the group, has been dealing with the outraged members of the public.

She said: “Don’t they have better things to concern themselves with? I mean, in a couple of weeks they can drive through the damned thing for free!”

The 4,000 tickets available online sold out far faster than the Hindhead team had expected, with people waiting hours on their computers while porn sites loaded in the background as they attempted to fill their long and lifeless days.

Cam Payne, the president of Petersfield Residents Against Things (PRATS), had not been aware of an issue – but is now equally outraged.

He said: “I wasn’t aware of an issue previously but this is just the sort of thing I like to get upset about – something that to an outsider looks like a complete waste of time, effort and emotion. I’ve already prepared a placard and am happy to travel anywhere to protest this or any other thing.”

A spokesman for contractor Big Tunnels R Us said: “Are they serious?”

And in other news in this week’s Petersfield Proust:

• A photographer claims aliens ruined his pictures; and
• A man is inconvenienced in a car park

Hindhead hold-up

Dactil laughs off the idea of danger in the tunnel

Work on the Hindhead tunnel, scheduled to open in August 2011 is to be held up indefinitely following the discovery of incredible fossil remains under the Surrey hills.

The new tunnel was expected to bring long-awaited relief to commuters on the congested A3 and now all this has been put on hold following the discovery of a dinosaur.

Most of the 600 or so construction staff who work at the site have been told not to return to work this week, only those working on the approach roads are able to continue working on the project.

The finished tunnel is expected to cost £371 million, incredibly the work will be halted by a monster that roamed the area 66 million years ago.

The tunnel is 1.2 miles in length; and at its deepest point it descends 65 metres beneath the surface of the land beside the Devil's Punch Bowl. It is at this depth that the find has been made.

Normally during such a huge and expensive engineering project, work would not be halted for any sort of archaeological find, but this specimen is of huge significance.

What sets this creature apart from its contemporaries is its size. Terry Dactil from the British Museum told us: “If you imagine how a chihuahua would look alongside an alsatian, that is how a Tyrannosaurus Rex would look alongside our new friend. It is immense.”

Polish excavator worker Ivor Gotta was said to be absolutely delighted that he unearthed the creature. He told the world's press: "I know this is bound to hold up the work, but I am delighted to be linked with this discovery.

"I would like to think my name will go down in history, with the beast being named after me."

Dactil was sure Gotta would get his wishes and that the naming of the Ivorgottasaurus will be merely a formality.

Teeth or Stalectites?- A snap taken by a

Romanian worker on his iPhone

We also asked Dactil what he thought about the rumours that workmen claimed they had seen movement down in the tunnel. That several of the workers had rushed from the tunnel, scared out of their wits, vowing not to return.

Dactil laughed at the suggestion: "I have heard these stories and of course this is completely impossible. No creature could possibly have lain in hibernation for so long.

"It is true the specimen is incredibly well-preserved, for reasons we don't yet understand, and the sight of the lifelike remains have possibly scared some of the crew.

"Of course, the workers could just be trying to pull a fast one and get themselves some paid leave.

"I'm sure we will be able to excavate the remains quickly and be back on track with the project before you know it."

Newswire tried to contact Dactil yesterday for an update of the situation, he was unavailable to comment.

Sounding Off

Infinity and beyond… well, Leigh Park any way

Councillor Mona Lott, speaking on behalf of the Clanfield, Horndean and Vicinity Society (CHAVS), has written to the Highways Agency complaining about the increased noise levels on the A3.

Lott, clearly ill-informed, told us that much of the traffic that currently uses the A3 breaks the sound barrier, causing constant disruption to residents of Clanfield, Horndean and Rowlands Castle (north Leigh Park).

“We never used to have to put up with this much noise,” insisted Cllr Lott. “And can you imagine how bad it will be once the Devil’s Punchbowl Slingshot Tunnel is opened next year. Some of these vehicles will really be able to get up a head of steam as they come down this long straight stretch.

"It'll be like the Hardon Collider."

We pointed out to Cllr Lott that while the speed of sound is variable, largely dependent upon temperature and atmospheric composition, in the Leigh Park region, this is likely to be around 760mph. The current speed limit is considerably less at 70mph.

Cllr Lott wouldn’t be deterred and added: “That’s what you say, but we can all hear the traffic boom booming all through the day and night. There are no speed cameras, no speed bumps and the state of the road doesn’t help.

“They need to resolve the matter, adjust the sound barrier or improve the road surface or something. We cannot go on like this.”

The matter is now in the hands of the Highways Agency, who will we are sure, deal with the matter very sensitively.

Cllr Lott also said something about flooded roads, and how the water runs downhill and causes puddles at the bottom. At this point the rest of the society had retired for the evening and the councillor was left banging the table.