Banging Bordon

A party in Barracks Close goes on beyond 3:30am 

Maverick Television, maker of Channel 4’s Embarrassing Bodies, is to base itself in Bordon, north of Petersfield, to film a series about noisy neighbours this summer.

Series Producer Meg Affone told Newswire: “This is a nailed-on certainty to be a great show, just the sort of cringe worthy TV that so many of our viewers like to watch these days.

“There should be feuding, arguing and hopefully some fisticuffs as the warm summer nights approach and uncaring neighbours blare their migraine-inducing music out of wide open windows until the early hours.

“It used to be the case that you could call in a police officer to smooth things over, but I've been reliably informed there hasn’t been one of those seen in the area for months. So bring it on.”

Bordon isn’t the only local town set to host new TV series with ITV1’s Jeremy Bile Show setting up base in a pre-fab studio in a clearing in Havant Thicket.

This venture was the host’s idea, Bile told the national press: “I know my show gets a slating from many quarters, but it is hugely popular with the young unemployed. It gives them something to get out of bed for.

“There is a huge number of grunting unemployed chavs in this area and we are providing them with their chance to be seen on TV.

“We’ll have oodles of material here with dysfunctional families and all the topics we normally cover available on tap.”

The makers of Channel 4’ Big Fat Gypsy Weddings are also rumoured to be moving into the same pre-fab studio with a view to making a series entitled “My Spaced Out Hoodie Wedding” but Newswire has yet to receive confirmation that this has received the funding required.