Petersfield's band stand-off

Petersfield councillors have strongly criticised a local man for daring to have an idea.

The man’s idea was to erect a bandstand in the town so families could enjoy live music together in the beautiful open air setting of Petersfield Heath.

Councillors immediately convened a meeting to thrash-out reasons why his idea is bad and recorded the following conclusions:

1. Only the council is permitted to have ideas.
2. Anybody who thinks they have an idea does not. It’s merely “a thought” which has to be submitted in triplicate to Pennywhistles Place before it can be converted into an idea and properly credited to the relevant municipal committee.
3. Sharing ideas in public only leads to enthusiasm.
4. Councillors have a public duty to dampen enthusiasm within five working days.

Councillor Rachel Prejudice explained to Petersfield Newswire the strict rules which govern these circumstances.

She said: "It is unacceptable for anybody in the area to have an idea let alone discuss it, openly, in public, with people. Coming up with ideas should be left to the professionals. 

"Take, for example, our imaginative decision to create the unmissably entertaining Partners magazine with your money, or our inspired purchase of wooden Christmas chalets which we now store at your cost.”

Maybe one of those will do as a bandstand...