Ho ho ho.

Official stocking filler

Petersfield Town Council (PTC) received some awful news last night when the “Santa” booked to entertain the crowds in town on Christmas Eve, had to cancel.

Santa Baby contacted the Council to tell them that she was not going to be able to come to Petersfield this year, as she had read that Heath Pond, which she (or one of her colleagues) has in recent years used as a landing strip, far from freezing over, has in fact disappeared.

Appearing rather scantily clad for a traditional Santa, she cited global warming as being to blame for most things, that or French plastic surgeons.

Santa Baby, despite her looks, is not easily swayed either; she sounded grateful for the excuse saying that this would give her the window of opportunity she needed to pop back to France to complain about some “enhancements” that she was worried about. She said she was going to struggle to pay for possible restoration work; murmuring something about rising French inflation rates.

Speaking on behalf of PTC, Dirk T Oldman said: “This is nothing short of a disaster; I’ve been looking forward to this all year. The replacement Santa we’ve been offered is a big chap with yellow teeth and his own beard, I shall cancel the booking immediately”.