Porn barons have joined forces with Farcebook and Twatter bosses in a furious reaction to East Hampshire District Council’s decision to show council meetings live online.
“I’m furious!” declared Stevie Sleeze, marketing director for boobsonline. “How can we compete with that? It’s all right for them with their exciting debates about footpaths, bus-stops and environmental health licensing – but they’re paying for this internet dominance with taxpayers’ money.
“I mean they’re even talking about a live feed of the debate about dustbin collection times for goodness sake. All I can offer is ‘lusty milfs on bikes’ and ‘teenage vampires in thongs’ – who’s going to be interested in that now?
“It’s a disgrace! During a recession councils should be doing more to encourage entrepreneurs like me, not putting us out of business with their subsidised online excitement.”
Even Farcebook chief executive Marky Zukerberg-Friendslist took time out from tinkering with the format of nine billion users’ home pages and siphoning away the personal information of everyone on the planet to declare: “I’m seriously worried. If this thing takes off, we’re finished – look what happened to those losers at MySpace.”
And Twatter boss Mark ‘Elvis’ Costolo said: “I 8 ths, so unfr bit.lyurlehdc…”