Crunch time for dog biscuit traffickers
Dog owners around Petersfield have been living in fear since the arrival of the latest drug craze in the town.
All town mutts have become the target for ill-informed vigilantes since a group of nosey parents discovered the deadly ‘Woof Woof’ narcotic – by infiltrating young persons’ interweb site thingy Farcebook.
"We found out that young people have been grinding up dog biscuits and eating them," said concerned mum Amelia Churchgoer-Nonce (not her real name).
"Perhaps unsurprisingly, it can lead to vomiting and loss of appetite – but the police just aren’t interested, so we’ve had to take the law into our own hands.
"We’ve got to somehow stop the supply and we believe some dogs have been blatantly leaving their unwanted biscuits just lying around – especially if skinflint owners buy Asda own brand."
Following the disappearance of several canines since the discovery of the deadly ‘Woof Woof’, Mrs Churchgoer-Nonce said: "If the police won’t act, we’ll just have to take the lead … er, if you know what I mean."