Documents released today by the Ministry of Defence (MOD) have cast doubts over recent sightings of a traffic warden in Petersfield.
More than 6,000 pages of reports describe people’s experiences with unidentified objects, mainly of the flying kind. Government correspondence, local newspaper reports and details of RAF investigations all feature in the files.
And there have been reports over the last 24 hours of the sighting of a traffic warden in the East Hampshire market town, reports which the MOD is keen to play down.
Professor ET Fonhom, from the Department of Denying All Culpability, at the University of Saturn, explained: “These files clearly show that many sightings can be explained by the presence of aliens or people in fancy dress. The recent sighting of a traffic warden in Petersfield would have to be filed under U for ‘unconfirmed’.
“It is highly improbable that such a thing exists – and if it did it would hardly be likely to turn up in Petersfield, home of the world’s largest active car park (reports passim).
“We would need to see hard evidence such as a parking ticket or a photograph. Many such sightings can be explained by the imbibing of too much alcohol.”
But the explanation did not convince one local resident who insists he saw a traffic warden only this morning.
“I came staggering out of the Square Brewery after a heavy breakfast and there was a glowing yellow light moving closer toward me,” said Noah Waiting.
“Once I refocused my eyes the light became a glowing band around a hat and the traffic warden approached me bearing what appeared to be a pad of parking tickets. I race inside the Square Brewery to tell everybody but when we re-emerged the traffic warden had vanished.
“Nobody believes me but I know what I saw…"