Not medium rare - firm to soft

 

Horse meat could become part of our stable diet

This week's Petersfield Proust is offering you the chance to win a share of a racehorse, a wonderful prize at this time of year.

Following the vicious cold snap and the death of Bernard Matthews, turkeys are harder to come by this year, and, as Christmas nears, there is expected to be a shortage of the festive birds.

Adverts around Petersfield offer townsfolk the chance to hunt down their own turkeys at a free-range turkey shoot. Champagne and mince pies included, the fun day out costs only £120.

The price may put this option out of the reach of some families at the rough end of town, towards Havant, down near the trailer park, and in recognition of this The Proust has come up with an inspirational alternative.

We asked one passer-by what he thought and he told us: "The French have always eaten horse; I don't see a problem with it.

"So long as you don't mind growing excess hair under your arms, smelling and running away at the drop of un chapeau, it could be a welcome addition to your diet.”

The grass is always Greener

Absolute Dobbin just outside the box

A horse named Absolute Dobbin made front page headlines in last week's Petersfield Post, when his owners kitted him out in full England kit.

This was all meant as something of a joke, but following England's opening match against the USA, Dobbin has received the nod from Fabio Capello, who is looking to use him in goal for the remaining group games.

Capello told us: "I now see my mistake. Clearly. James is England number one and I should have used him against the USA. I should take responsibility. Full responsibility."

England have requested that Absolute Dobbin be drafted in, and while these are unusual circumstances it is thought FIFA will allow us to exchange a horse for a donkey on the premise that he is team mascot.

Absolute Dobbin was today trying out his new England goalkeeper's kit and in a short practice session, any balls that were thrown straight at him bounced off and did not pass. A marked improvement on the current incumbent's ability.

Dobbin's owners who live in Rake are thrilled at the news, and are very much looking forward to seeing him on the TV.

They told us: "To be honest this all started out as somethig of a joke. We heard the Petersfield Post were struggling for a headline and we thought... I know, let's put a football shirt on Dobbin.

"Now of course desperate times call for desperate measures; we're just glad we can help in some small way."