Thursday, September 29, 2011

Volume control

Camouflage brackets available for £9.99, if you can find one

Petersfield’s leading newspaper the Petersfield Proust is offering its readers the opportunity to own an extensive 24-volume encyclopaedia charting the history of World War II.

Impress your friends with this enormous collection that will, depending upon the size of your house, take up an entire wall.

Very wide – once you have factored in all 48 covers – and incredibly heavy, this collection will need additional wall brackets to ensure your shelf can support the weight. Special camouflage wall brackets can be purchased at the discounted cost of only £9.99 each.

The first volume is absolutely free, enticing you into starting your collection. The publisher’s hope is that once you’ve started, a bit like Hitler, you just won’t be able to stop yourself.

The collection takes just under half a year to complete – around one twelfth the length of the war itself – and while it doesn’t cost a ‘bomb’ you will need to ‘shell’ out £2.99 for each book. Ideal for anybody with more money than sense and perhaps, ultimately, the plaster removing from an old wall.

The ultimate cost is approaching £70 and, spread over half a year, you’ll probably never notice that hard-earned cash trickling from your account. You could actually buy several proper well-written tomes on the subject of World War II for that kind of money but don’t let that put you off, just think of the visual spectacle in your home.

The publisher accepts no responsibility for the damage to your shelf and wall as your collection grows, neither will it refund the cost of volumes purchased should you decide that you are wasting your money.

How about a decent newspaper spread over the year in 52 weekly instalments? That would be a lot better.

4 comments:

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