Stag do

The White Hart yesterday

Petersfield’s White Hart pub enjoyed its busiest evening for two years last night, when two vagrants broke into the premises and polished off 12 cans of Special Brew, and an out-of-date bag of honey roasted peanuts from behind the bar.

Any hope that this reversal in fortunes might lead to the inn reopening were swiftly dashed by landlord Max Prophet, who said: "Our small establishment is a financial casualty of the recession, the effects of which have been exaggerated by the arrival of a Netherregions pub over the road.

"We were already struggling in the current financial climate and the success of The Red Lion has merely been the nail in our already-prepared coffin.”

Prophet denied the White Hart was simply a rubbish pub, and that it was very rare for customers to wander in and stay for anything more than a polite half long before Netherregions took over the Red Lion.

And he refuted the suggestion that other pubs in the town are not losing trade to the Red Lion and that perhaps, a simple renovation might bring new life to the pub.

He added: "This is irrelevant now. The pub has failed, the building will rapidly become an eyesore, and the best thing for everybody would be for planning to be rushed through for a large block of flats.

"My wife and I find all this very stressful and we just want to be able to take time out in a little chalet that I have my eye on in the Seychelles ."

One for the road

Easy on the Lemming Harry

Petersfield’s new Netherregions pub, looking to set itself apart from other local hostelries, may start serving all its drinks in specially adapted rodents designed by BrewDog a controversial Scottish brewery.

The Fraserburgh-based brewer has recently hit the headlines by announcing that they brew the strongest beer available planet Earth.

Their new ale, called The End of History is 55% alcohol and completes a menu of strong beers which include a comparative light ale named Tokyo at 18.2%, Tactical Nuclear Penguin at 32% and Sink the Bismark at 41%.

More quirky though, for maximum enjoyment, it is suggested that the beer should be drunk using the corpse of a rodent as a kind of iconic bottle or glass holder. Rats, squirrels, stoats and hares have all been converted into receptacles by taxidermists employed by the brewery.

A stiff one

BrewDog have been lambasted for making such a potent drink available at a time when society is concerned about the drinking habits and health of young people.

The Scottish brewer defended itself by saying that their drinks were originally destined for the Scottish market, popularity and clever PR has resulted in far wider distribution than they could have imagined.

Carrie Oooot speaking on behalf of BrewDog told Newswire: “Don’t forget the people of Scotland need to be pie-eyed to be able to exist in their native cold wet climate. Some of them drink whisky by the pint; our ale is hardly strong in comparison.

“Also, I hardly think we can be in any way blamed for lowering life expectancy in a region where the deep-fried Mars Bar is the national dish.”

The young of today’s society will naturally be drawn to any drink labelled “the strongest ale in the world” even attracting lager drinkers who will be unused to drinking anything with flavour.

The novelty of quaffing your drink through a squirrel or rat will also add a certain uniqueness to the experience for those that are so inclined.

Netherregions will delight in the press that this move is bound to attract and shrugged off any suggestion that cleaning the glasses is going to take a little longer.

Helen Back, one of the new staff at The Red Lion, laughed at the prospect of serving beer in a rodent told us: “Many of our customers come in with the intention of getting rat-faced, they can now achieve this quite literally, and more quickly.”

Petersfield pub set to make a mark

Netherregions has identified its target market

The new Netherregions pub, on the site of the old Red Lion, is expected to open in July – just in time for the summer school holidays.

And its licence will allow it to serve teenagers with a low-alcohol tolerance from 9am-12.30am Thursday to Saturday.

Netherregions regional sales manager, Jim Beam, explained: “The timing couldn’t be better for us. Opening just as the school holidays start gives us the opportunity to hit our target market immediately.

“These are the ideal people to take advantage of our ‘Get Smashed Out of Your Skull for a Fiver’ promotion, where we allow groups of one to purchase 12 bottles of alcopops for a fiver providing they are spending a minimum of £2.50 on food.”

Beam was quick to address residents’ concerns over anti-social behaviour.

He added: “Two door supervisors will be employed on Friday and Saturday nights, bank holidays, Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve to maintain public order. If anybody comes staggering out of the pub our door supervisors are under strict instructions to throw them back in until they can no longer stand.

“We will also be serving breakfasts from 7am. However, as our alcohol licence does not allow us to sell booze until 9am all our bacon, eggs and sausages will be cooked in WKD.

“People are wrong to think that Netherregions is all about profit with no concern for the local community. We’re not just about profit, we’re also very focussed on selling excess stock as quickly as possible.”

Beam insisted if there was a sudden influx of people at the pub and problems arose he could call on trained door staff to get to the Red Lion within two hours – which, he was at pains to point out, is slightly quicker than the police can get there.