An absolute shower

 

The 12th green at Celtic Manor, Wales 

The agency, responsible for the PR for Wales and the Ryder Cup, have proudly announced that Petersfield is a new client, this is off the back of their recent staggering performance at Celtic Manor.

People from across the world have tuned in and read about the horrendous weather conditions that threaten to greet you should you venture into Wales . On top of this, the huge delays on approach roads and tales of how spectators had to spend hours in their cars, with nothing to do, made headlines across the world.

A spokesman for Who Said There's No Such Thing As Bad PR, or WSTNSTABPR as the company is catchily known, was elated at the news.

"I can confirm that we have been contracted to do some work for Petersfield by Mr Phil Anthropist, I must stress that this contract is not supported or paid for by Petersfield Town Council, who unfortunately have yet to be convinced about the merits of our appointment."

Mr Anthropist was delighted that WSTNSTABPR had accepted the challenge. He told us: "This is a turning point for our quaint old market town.

"For months now developers have been banging on about how necessary it is to build an extra 36,000 homes in the surrounding area. How Petersfield is a place where everybody wants to be, and how we need to be able to accommodate all comers. We are sure our friends at WSTNSTABPR will be able to change all that.

"The remit is simple, just do what they did in Wales and ensure nobody wants to come here.

"Even the money-grabbing developers won't build here if they really believe that they will struggle to sell their homes for big profits.

Speaking on behalf of developers Stack 'Em High, Sly Back-Hander defended the position of developers associated with the local projects. He said: "We have carried out a cost-effective assessment of the need for new housing in the area, and all our tests have proved conclusively positive.

"We have had researchers out for over an hour, establishing how busy roads in the area, and as you probably already know they are very, very busy.

"If there is traffic, this is an area where people want to be, so there is clearly a need to build new homes.