Being an MP is a lot harder than Julian Hindsight expected...
Petersfield MP Julian Hindsight was rushed to hospital this week – to have a fence removed from his arse.
The incident followed his call for a referendum on plans for an eco-town at Bordon.
“I’d like everyone to vote on the issue because I’ve been very firmly dithering over this for some time and I really can’t make up my mind,” he mumbled.
In a move that should make him popular with his Liberal coalition bedfellows the Tory added: "Obviously I’d like to see lots more houses built in an eco fashion but I don’t want to offend any constituents that live nearby.
“This decision-making business is a lot harder than I imagined - in fact if we could have a referendum on everything I wouldn’t have to stand up for anything.”
Hindsight’s referendum call follows previous sideline-sitting over issues like the closure of Alton Magistrates’ Court – which hears Petersfield cases - leaving unfortunate criminals facing the long journey to Aldershot to be let off.
The MP was also undecided on whether to oppose the closure of Petersfield’s Grange Birth Centre following a baby boom (!).
“I’m here to protect local services … but we are the natural party of slash and burn, and you did vote for us,” said Mr Hindsight from his position on the fence.
“I have decided that I will campaign for more consultation and for local voices to be heard on all vital subjects – before we go with the original plans anyway.”
The fence removal operation was unable to be carried out at Petersfield Hospital due to Con-Dem cuts, but luckily a private clinic was available…