Ring the Changes

Matt Tress would love to have had a bash at Kate's ring 

A Petersfield jeweller has slammed newly-engaged royals Prince William and Kate Middleton as “selfish” and “shameful”.

Matt Tress is not unhappy about the complete waste of taxpayers’ money in a time of austerity – far from it. The High Street jeweller feels far more should have been spent...particularly on, er, new jewellery.

“Why is it that at a time of recession, when our economy is desperately in need of a kick start, William decides to recycle an old engagement ring instead of putting his hand in his pocket and buying Kate a new one?” moaned Tress, 85.

‘I think it's shameful to carry on like this at a time of recession, they should know better and set more of an example. Sometime next spring some lucky baker will be asked to produce a magnificent and multi-layered cake.

“Very soon, dressmakers will be employed to deck Kate out in a wedding dress, that will in all probability be about two hundred yards long. Massive orders will be placed with florists, tailors will be working their socks off and some lucky caterers will be rubbing their hands at the prospect of helping with the wedding breakfast.

“But us poor jewellers have been left with nothing to rub our hands about! Knowing the wedding was imminent I had designed a fabulous ring that would have cost the earth, I sent the design months ago to Prince William. He has clearly shunned this in favour of some old bit of family jewellery.

“I think it's a disgrace, this was clearly a chance to inject money into the local economy and would have put Petersfield on the map. I think he has been very selfish and, perhaps more importantly, this will certainly mean that I will have to cancel the cruise that I had planned for next year.”