Showing posts with label queen elizabeth country park. Show all posts
Showing posts with label queen elizabeth country park. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Real reason for Ugandan twinning is revealed

This Ugandan Big Issue seller shows more entreprenurial spirit than Petersfield's

Workers from Uganda have been searching for a credible reason to visit Petersfield for years. Now, the realisation that their Queen Elizabeth National Park almost shares its name with our local amenity has provided the perfect excuse.

Other similarities between the two parks can be found in their size, climate and wildlife. Uganda's national park consists of 770 square miles of rich safari parkland populated by African wildlife - lions, tigers and bears (oh my!) - while ours is a hill on which some dogs once got lost.

But the real attractions for our Ugandan visitors are in Petersfield itself. By studying our world-famous approach to urban planning, our legendary Post Office queuing system and our advanced traffic management techniques, the visitors will learn a range of skills they can later introduce to Ugandan society.

One of the visiting Ugandans whose name we, like the Petersfield Proust, didn't risk trying to spell said: "Coming to Petersfield has taught me how you can replace a single traffic warden with a complex system of residents' parking permits, kerbside restrictions and extended Sunday parking charges and still end up no better off. Now I understand the decline of the British Empire."

Other tips the Ugandans might learn include how to hold an election without your country decending into violence and how to avoid sentencing practising homosexuals to death. All useful skills in the 21st century.

Monday, October 05, 2009

Airlift race drama - shoe lost!

Tragedy almost struck the popular annual Butser Air Ambulance race last weekend, when a well-heeled jogger ran in front of one of the competing choppers.

Spike Shoes, a 34-year-old running enthusiast, was caught up in the annual fundraiser when he went for his regular jog through Queen Elizabeth Country Park.

He said: “I had no idea there was such an event. One minute I was kneeling down to scrape a bit of dirt off my shiny new trainers and the next I was being bundled into a helicopter by interfering busybodies who aren’t even paid to do the job.

“Apparently they thought I was having a coronary but I was appalled. I paid nearly £200 for those Nike running shoes and they left one behind when we took off – I nearly had real heart attack when I realised what those idiots had done. The guy kept blathering on about saving my life. What about saving my bloody shoes?

“There’s no point saving me if I can only hop up to the top of the hill in future. I’m not made of money.”

A spokesman for the local voluntary air ambulance service said: “Tosser!”