Letter to the editor

Here at Newswire Towers we are always delighted to receive genuine correspondence from our readers. Here is a letter we received recently. Please keep them coming.

Dear Newswire,

My name is Harold Backhouse and I am chair of FEAFA, a local organisation here in Petersfield, of right-thinking people.

Yes, the Flat Earth and Fascist Association is a fine body of like-minded folk who are sick to death of politicaly correct thinking, allowing the country to be over-run by foreigners and being told what to do by this socialist government.

You can see the work of our members all over recent events and communications to the Petersfield Post, our house newsletter. Long, tedious letters about climate change denial, telling Johnny Foreigner where to stick his grimy car mop and leaving copies of our Bible - the Daily Mail - in public places, is all the work of our dedicated members.

And to cap the week off, we now have one of our team proudly and openly selling golliwogs in his charming and tasteful furniture shop at the bottom of the High Street. He soon tells interfering busybodies who go in to complain where to get off, I can tell you!

So take that Mr and Mrs PC and get yourselves a few years of National Service to sort yourselves out.

Yours rigidly,

Harold I-fought-a-war-for-you Backhouse