Thursday, December 10, 2009

Lost: Library noticeboard for lost and found

Action from one of the library's many exercise classes

Yoga teachers, odd-job gardeners and coffee-morning organisers are up in arms over the temporary closure of Petersfield Library.

"Where else are we going to pin up our badly designed, ill though-out and appallingly spelt notices for classes and events that haven’t been running for around 18 months?” squealed Maud Simpkins, yoga mistress and part-time landscaper.

“There’s also the issue of where all the old codgers are going to go to keep warm – we’re talking about January you know!”

Members of the official Post Office queue have suggested the library notice board could be moved out into the square to give them something to snigger about during the long, dark hours of waiting for a stamp.

The refurbished library is due to re-open in summer 2010 complete with coffee shop, hairdresser’s section and estate agency.

Spokesman Roger Reader said: “We had to do something to bump up numbers and a working group identified the lack of these facilities in the town.

“Books? Well, we might still have a few left in the corner – but try Amazon. Theirs aren’t all dog-eared with pages stuck together with unidentifiable substances – plus they’ll bring them straight to your door and you won’t have to bring them back when you’ve finished reading them. I don’t know why we didn’t think of that…”

1 comment:

  1. I believe it may be possible that you made this story up. I regularly visit Petersfield's world famous library and have yet to encounter any staff who even remotely resemble the woman with the nice bum in your photograph. This sort of cheap journalism is what gives the likes of Rufus O"Burdock the opportunity to silt up the minds of the British people with his dirty vicar stories and pictures of Alma Cogan not wearing a hat on Sunday.