A money-grabbing trader has called for the demolition of an old building in the town centre - to make way for a Christmas car park.
"At this time of recession we need to boost shopper numbers any way we can," said jeweller Matt Tress.
"If we can set up a new car park right next to the Square, it will give the whole town a lift."
His proposal to knock down the town's Norman church, St Peter's, has not met with universal approval - especially during the festive season - but Tress remains unrepentant.
"It's old and crumbly anyway and it's been there for ages," he moaned.
"It's nothing but an eyesore in my book - I'd much rather see lots of lovely shoppers pulling up there in their cars. I reckon you'd get more than 200 on that site, which would be a much-needed boost for the jewellery trade, and maybe some other shops too.
"We might have to lose the Square's Christmas tree to gain access, and those strings of garish lights could go too. Let's keep Christmas traditional for once - it is all about shopping after all. And if anyone's interested in a carol service or something, there are plenty of other churches available that don't clutter up the centre of the town.'
God issued a statement via Facebook, saying 'FFS!'