Tuesday, August 23, 2011

You Cant be serious

 Somebody should be thrown through the arched window...

The rationale behind the new monstrosity in Petersfield has been defended in an effort to calm irate townsfolk. 

Beside Petersfield’s central car park, in a corner previously occupied by quaint old shops, rises an incongruous brick edifice, details of which have been largely kept a secret from the public. 

Newswire can reveal that the design of the building is loosely based upon a combination of a Swiss chalet and, curiously, a design from the old BBC favourite, Play School . 

The architect, Swiss born Emma Entahl told journalists: “I visited Petersfield during the winter and noticed how this car park was like a scene in Switzerland , sheet ice, with piles of snow all around, like a black run at Gstaad. When asked to give my thoughts on this new build, I thought a chalet would be the perfect design.

“I was however conscious of the need to incorporate something very English into the blueprint and, after some research, decided upon the old children’s favourite Play School . You know with Brian Cant and Floella Benjamin.

 Fewer windows than the new build

“I feel the chalet style blends seamlessly with its surroundings whilst there is the subtle nod towards English eccentricity with the inclusion of a round window, an arched window, a square window, and also because I had some spare wall space... a triangular window.”

The building will be home to a new furniture store with affordable accommodation in the roof space.

On a more positive note, the Oxford English Dictionary (OED), which has recently declared words such as 'aerodrome' and 'charabanc' as extinct, told Newswire that this building has singularly rescued the word 'carbuncle' from archival.


  1. Wasn't the front Heinze of Switzerland back in the old days so maybe a nod to his alpine influence.

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