Tuesday, August 02, 2011

'Bored vandals' relish opportunity to preserve reputation

Trug of war: 'bored vandals' or a cottage industry?

A group of Petersfield youngsters have labelled an East Hants District Council (EHDC) spokesman ‘lazy’ and ‘clichéd’ after he described them as “bored vandals”.

The teenagers were shocked to see themselves described thus in last week’s Petersfield Proust by EHDC’s contract monitoring officer Greg Christmas-Hut-on-the-Square, after he claimed they had climbed an apple tree outside the library “so apples could be taken and used as missiles”.

But one of the youngsters, Grant Application, insisted Christmas-Hut-on-the-Square had merely jumped to the wrong conclusion.

Application said: “To describe us as ‘bored vandals’ is at best generalisation and at worst lazy and clichéd. Surely he could only state that as fact had he seen ‘bored vandals’ climb the tree.

“In fact this was a concerted effort by a group of determined home-made preserve activists to avoid wasting good apples.

“We may have dropped one or two as we loaded them into our trugs but the majority made it home with us and will return at the next food festival in various vastly overpriced jams and chutneys. Indeed this is the basis for my Duke of Edinburgh Award for preserve-making and naked capitalism.

“We were deeply hurt by the remark and if we ever see Mr Christmas-Hut-on-the-Square around town we will pelt him with jars of pumpkin relish.”