More queuing nonsense...

A solution is on the cards at last for the 'disgraceful' (© Michael Mates MP) queues at Petersfield Post Office.

After complaints that some customers have had to wait for more than 30 minutes and queue outside, a revolutionary plan has been cooked up to keep them fed, watered and informed while they hang around to buy a stamp or two.

A local builder has been employed to knock a hole in the wall of neighbouring pub The George and, if necessary, a further archway into the public library.

"This means Post Office customers can enjoy a pint and burger, or maybe read a book or two while they wait," said George barman Hammy Grey.

"It should make queueing for a passport form almost bearable."

However, some people are never happy.

One passing grump commented: "'Why do all pensioners decide to go to the post office at lunchtime just as the rest of us are trying to get stuff done during our short lunch break? Those dithery old bastards have got all day to collect their bloody pension!"

 Newswire tip - If you're a snobby middle-class woman, why not go straight to the front of the queue feigning an interest in the 'foreign exchange' counter - and then just buy your stamps without waiting?