Anna D'Venture is struggling to cope,
stuck as she is in the Maldives
Up to several Petersfield families are stuck abroad as a result of the Effyoffyukkipuffi volcano which is in the north somewhere and therefore an enemy to the south.
Speaking from the Maldives, local drama queen Anna D'Venture gave Petersfield Newswire a personal insight into her ordeal.
She said: "It's a total nightmare. We have no idea when we'll be able to leave this dreadful place we paid thousands of pounds to holiday in. We only booked a one-week break, taking sea-plane transfers to this all-inclusive idyllic island retreat and staying in a luxury water bungalow.
"Now we've been stuck here for over a fortnight and there's no end in sight. Pass the oysters darling."
Meanwhile distraught Petersfield children continue to endure an agonising wait in places like Jamaica, Goa, Kuala Lumpar, Kenya and DisneyWorld when they should be in local schools preparing to fail their exams.