Thursday, March 31, 2011

‘What us?’ say Petersfield mums

Veuve Clicquot Molotov Cocktails, shaken not stirred.

Petersfield mums have recoiled in shock after the dawning realisation that the Con-Dem government cuts will actually apply to them.

Pulling on her black balaclava moments before ramming a double buggy through the plate glass doors of the 99p shop, one yummy mummy who refused to be named said: “How dare they suggest that our Surestart playgroup might close!

“When I heard that lots of cuts were needed to save the country I naturally assumed, like all right-minded people, that it would only be lesbian theatre groups, unemployed northerners and people in council houses that would suffer.

“I’m outraged that anyone could even think of shutting down our Surestart group – my little Tarquin loves going along. Just think of the children!”

Another young mum – her face disguised by a scarf (Hermes naturally) - held off lighting her Molotov cocktail to tell us: “Surely no-one can seriously suggest that our Surestart centre is less important than NHS operations for poor people.

“If they close it down, I may have to dip into my husband’s bonus from Lloyds to pay for a private nursery – and why should I do that just so that some lazy old pensioner can carry on getting the so called winter fuel allowance?”


  1. I don't think you realise the importance of sure start centres. Comparing them to a nursery just proves your ignorance...

  2. Sir Ivor Largegarden OBE31 March 2011 at 11:49

    My driver had to use a Surestart Centre once when the Bentley wouldn't turn over. Marvellous service. Got us back on the road in no time and much cheaper than my membership of the RAC Country Club !

  3. Spot on Anonymous. The whole point of this website is that we prove our ignorance every day. Thanks for noticing.

  4. Haha! I think it is probably meant to be a joke 'Anonymous'. Lighten up! I doubt 'yummy mummys' all over the country are picking up their pitchforks as we speak, after reading this!