The residents of the South Downs National Park town are renowned up and down the land for popping open a bottle of Veuve Clicquot or six at the drop of a top hat, but East Hants District Council (EHDC) has confirmed that no-one wants to party to celebrate William and Kate's nuptials.
Not much of a bang for Wills and Kate
A headline in the Petersfield Proust indicated that following an edict by EHDC, party poppers would cost £21, and this appears to have deterred many from wanting to join in on the day.
Annie Hicks-Kews, a self-declared royalist who always likes to let her hair down explained why there was such a level of disinterest.
“It's all down to the party poppers thing dahling,” she said. “It’s a bit like Christmas crackers; you wouldn’t be seen dead pulling a Christmas cracker which had come from a box costing less than say £60.
“Fortnum’s do reasonable Crimbo crackers and you can always fall back on Harrods if you are completely stuck, but the branding is the key.
“With the party poppers, I can't bear to think what sort of cheap tack these are going to be if they only cost £21? Will they be from that cheap Norwegian shop? Widdle, or whatever it's called.
“And of course it has a knock-on effect: if the price is too low, the standard of hors d’oeuvres and crudités will inevitably drop. Then before you know where you are, you’re drinking second-rate champers and every oik in the street would be wanting to join in.
“It simply won’t do.”