With the British government becoming a rudderless ship following the general election Petersfield residents are taking matters into their own hands.
Local politicos are attempting to take advantage of the chaos in Westminster and establish the Hampshire town as a self-governing state.
Cam Payne, the official busybody from Petersfield Residents Against ThingS (PRATS), said: “No one in government seems to know what to do at the moment and it’s not good enough.
"One thing we’re not short of in Petersfield is people who know how things should be done so it makes perfect sense that if Westminster can’t govern us we should do it ourselves.
“I don’t think anyone in Petersfield has voted anything other than Tory for the last 700 years, I know I haven’t. It would be ridiculous for us to live under a sherbet Lib-Lab coalition so we’re setting up our own system.
“Our new Con-Con coalition will ensure Petersfield gets the preferential treatment it deserves and we PRATS are ideally placed to facilitate it. This is just the sort of thing we like to be outraged by. ”
A government spokesman, representing no particular party, government, region or country, said: “Well Con-Con just about sums it up and there’s not a single pro among them.”
*To become a PRAT or to find out more information about Petersfield Residents Against ThingS (PRATS) contact firstname.lastname@example.org