Finger lickin' good, and that was just the pole-dancing club
Residents could pay a heavy, finger-lickin’ price after the ex-White Hart was snubbed in this year’s Petersfield In Bloom.
Owner Max Prophet has come up with a zinger of a plan to hit back at the ‘floral snobs’ who overlooked his ‘Victorian wild meadow’ effort to win the top horticultural accolade.
“How can someone with a couple of dried up window boxes beat my offering?” he moaned. “My installation has been described by professionals as akin to a vertical Kew Gardens, put in place for the delight of the Petersfield public.”
But Prophet has sworn vengeance on the town and has come up with a nightmare scenario.
“At first I considered turning the White Hart into a lap-dancing club, with massage parlour upstairs,” he revealed in an exclusive Newswire interview. “But then I realised that most members of PRAT (Petersfield Residents Against Things) would actually be it’s biggest customers – albeit by sneaking in the back door, so to speak.
“Then I hit on a scheme to really bring shame on the area. I can’t say too much about it but it’s a joint project with a certain Colonel from, er, Kentucky and it will give me revenge by the bucketload…bargain buckets, you might say.”