Thieves made off with a scooter from Market Town Shopmobility and used it to ram-raid a charity shop.
Staff in the shop were so taken by surprise they failed to emerge from their nap in the back room before the cheeky raider had fled.
The four-wheeled thief made off with five packs of extra-long socks, a lavender pillow, a selection of second-hand romantic novels, a 1984 cassette tape of 101 Strings and an ornamental shire horse with one ear missing. Police put the value of the theft at around £4.50.
A police spokesman said: “The mobility scooter has a top speed of eight miles per hour so by the time our men arrived on the scene the perpetrator may have already been as far away as Liphook.
“We are, however, confident of apprehending the individual because, during the raid, he filled in his name and address on a book of raffle tickets available for purchase on the counter.”
Mo Bility, the eponymous manager of Market Town Shopmobilty, explained: “This is the first time in 16 years one of our customers has borrowed a scooter, not returned it and used it to ram-raid a charity shop.
“There has previously only been one similar occurrence when a scooter was used in a hit-and-run with a pet tortoise, but nothing on this scale.
“We may need to review our hiring policy. It is a sad reflection on society if you can no longer trust somebody merely because they wear suits with arrows on and carry sacks marked ‘swag’.”