Friday, March 26, 2010

Time called at Jolly Sailor

The Jolly Sailor today, where Stack 'Em High have already moved in and are preparing to distribute free ear plugs to the locals

A south Petersfield pub, The Jolly Sailor, is to be razed to the ground, to make way for a car park for excavation machinery.

Consultant Phil Fee-Rich, who represents developer Stack ‘Em High, told us: “With the upcoming work on the Causeway Farm Estate about to be given the green light, we are obviously going to need somewhere to park all that noisy machinery.

“The works are bound to mean upheaval, upset and inconvenience for many people; and we are duty bound to keep the number of people affected as low as possible.

“Purchasing this plot will mean we can contain any disturbance and keep it to the cheap end of town. This should minimise any complaints from anyone with any real influence."

When asked when he thought work would start on demolishing the pub, Fee-Rich was quick to respond.

“I’ve heard some mutterings about the building being ‘iconic’ and the word ‘landmark’ was even used. The last thing we want is to face a petition for it to be left standing, so it will be knocked down fairly quickly. Possibly tomorrow morning if I can hire one of those big swinging ball things!

“The real bonus here is that once the Causeway Farm Estate has been completed we will be able to use the site for something else.

“If we were to put in a planning application for a block of flats now, it would never be passed, but … if we wait until the value of the area has been reduced by the new estate, I reckon we will be able to push this through and start planning for a five storey building. Kerching!”

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