While most of us thought a National Park was simply a large area of natural beauty protected from development, Petersfield Newswire can reveal that it is also a natural breeding ground for bureaucracy.
Already, green shoots of administrative order are appearing in the Park's verdant fields with news that Petersfield is applying to be the official site of the South Downs Bureaucracy Tree.
The seed of this species is planted into an SSSI (site of super-annuated spending initiatives) and quickly matures, generating fresh spores of bureaucratic process which can drift across a wide area.
The Bureaucracy Tree also breaks into flower with a dazzling display of marketing and public information campaigns to provide distraction from the planning officials' hollow promises on development.
The tree itself is equally hollow, housing up to 30 administrative elves within its trunk. Once a year, the elves gather round the Bureaucracy Tree and sing the national anthem.
Officials at Pennpushers Place welcomed the move, saying it will be nice to have someone who understands them in the area.