Homeless woman highlights Sheet problem

A homeless woman is to spend the night in a plush house in Sheet to highlight the plight of the middle classes who whacked too much on their credit cards over Christmas.

"As I was selling The Beeeg Eeeshue in Rams Walk over the festive season I noticed how miserable all the shoppers were," explained Petersfield's homeless woman, known to residents as Mona.

"I chatted to a couple and realised what a tough time they were having. Many of them had to fight their way through throngs of other grim-faced and very pushy consumers just to buy two months' worth of food to see them through the long Christmas weekend.

"And others were forced to purchase hordes of expensive tat that their spoilt children didn't even want.

"Most of them were having to put so much on their credit cards they couldn't even spare the usual £1.50 for the Big Issue. I felt so sorry for them I decided to do something about it."

Mona is to spend the night in a five-bedroomed detached house in Sheet in a bid to bring attention to the sorry state of affairs facing many of the village's upper-crust residents.

Home owner Cressida Brazil-Thwaite (pronounced Twat) said: "She'll have to live on leftovers as that's all we can afford in January but she should be OK as the freezer in the utility room is full and my family won't need it as we'll be away on our annual skiing trip ... although we're having to make do with a European resort as we can't afford Aspen this year as my husband's Christmas bonus was around 10 per cent down.

"Mona doesn't realise how lucky she is not having to worry about such things and I hope she'll come to realise that after a night in our spare room."

If you would like to help the Brazil-Thwaites with their hefty credit card bill, Mona will be in her usual place this week and will pass on donations.